Ever wondered what…er…came from all those cosmically close encounters and fornicational first contacts that James T. Kirk enjoyed from one end of the galaxy to the other? Well, you might find your answer in the Canadian comedy fan film Bastards of Kirk!
I don’t have the time that I usually do to deep dive into all the background nitty gritty of this week’s fan film. But I can tell you that Bastards of Kirk premiered way back in July of 2006 at the Toronto Trek film festival. A few months later, it was shown at Fan Expo Canada and then sporadically afterwards at other conventions. Online, it’s only been viewed by a few thousand people, so it’s not one of the better known fan films…much the pity because it’s really well done for a low-budget parody.
The talent behind the film is a trio of Toronto-based Star Trek fans: Maninder Chana and Bob Thompson (writers) and Logan Lubera (director). But it all comes together amazing well thanks to a cast of twenty trained actors (trained actors make such a difference if you can get ‘em) and a production crew of nearly two dozen doing costuming, make-up, sound editing, music, and a host of other important jobs. The entire project was filmed over the course of a few weeks during May and June, with full days set aside early on for rehearsals. There were also long shooting sessions that lasted well into the wee hours to get the most out of the cast and crew while they were all still there.
A great deal of effort went into this project, and it shows. Sure, it’s not up to the level of New Voyages, Renegades, or Star Trek Continues, but it has a lot of heart, solid acting, clever writing, impressive directing, and—dammit, Jim!—it’s just plain fun to watch.
Bastards of Kirk is set up as an exposé airing on a future episode of 60 Minutes (still on the air after 315 seasons…and still using a darn stopwatch!) reporting on a class-action paternity lawsuit against one James Tiberius Kirk. Did Kirk violate the Prime Directive by impregnating women from Andoria to the Mirror Universe? Kirk himself seems to be in hiding, and reporter Mike Hollace’s search for the elusive captain takes him across the galaxy to all sorts of colorful (literally!) characters…each claiming to be the offspring—or of bearing the offspring—of the legendary starship commander.
You’ll see a number of familiar faces (played by different actors than the originals, of course) and more than a few alien races from throughout the alpha quadrant. Thanks to some really wonderful performances of the actors cast in these roles, the characters all come alive and stand out as fresh and dynamic. It all stitches together nicely into a fun and hilarious half-hour long fan film that is sure to get a chuckle or three from any TOS fan.
You can view Bastards of Kirk in six short parts by clicking here. Be advised, though, this is a bit PG-13 and pretty raunchy. If your virgin ears are easily offended by the idea of someone talking about bolding coming rather than going…well, you might want to skip this one. But if you have a dirty mind like me, well, this fan film is for you!
And if you need a little more convincing, here’s a bunch of still images from Bastards of Kirk to give you a taste of what’s in store for you…